Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Papa John's Bastard Children
57 Plays1 year ago
Got an idea for a podcast? Call us at 702-PODCASP and leave us a voicemail.
If you like We Don't Have a Podcast Yet go check out www.whitehouse.boats for exclusive content and weekly bonus episodes!
SHOW NOTES:
The Test of Time: Clock’s Ticking - it's just one femur
What’s Next After AI and Beyond? - Gold 4 Cash
Mister Critical - check out my Wallace Shawn action figure
Shock jocks for kids - The Grub loves his baby poop
Dr. Demand - shall I compare thee to a cherry pie?
Covertown - more like Worse Company
Too Gross & Too Close to Fucking Crazy - Slimer? That’s real Italian.
When Thoughts Kill - we’re taking the Papa down with us
Recommended![Top Tens Take Two [PATREON PREVIEW] - Least Popular Alcoholic Beverages, Summer Jobs image](https://media.zencastr.com/cdn-cgi/image/width=112,quality=85/image-files/5ad6ac3fb6bb080006a57903/d3427349-6083-4418-917a-8ded23d91f75.jpg)
Transcript
Podcasting Challenges and Hot Dog Experiments
00:00:00
Speaker
I do. Okay. I'm not on do not disturb. Oh, oh, no, no, we started. Uh, we don't have a podcast yet. Not yet, but we, we, honestly, we got, uh, we've, we got more distracted than normal, which is saying something. This last, the last month or so has been a real folks. Let's just, let's just call it what it is a shit show. We've been busy.
00:00:29
Speaker
We lost, we lost a couple of subscribers because we've, uh, we've been slacking. And then we were like, let's really commit to something making seven crazy hot dogs. It turns out that's more work than having a podcast. It is. And, uh, you can't disseminate your seven weird hot dogs to your Patreon listeners.
00:00:59
Speaker
Without I would imagine spending a lot of money on dry ice and. It's it's just not a business model that's going to work for us like having a podcast possibly could someday. Hmm. I actually went on the Patreon to be like, maybe I'll invite these local Patreon subscribers to my house for a hot dog party. Oh, oh, no, they're gone.
00:01:28
Speaker
We did it on spring break. We fucked up. We did it on spring break. Oh, I meant they were they were gone from our page. Oh, well. Oh, well, you win some, you'll lose some. We're just at some point, we're banking the winsomes. So anyways, we we tried seven, seven hot dogs. We succeeded at four. For those of you keeping track at home,
00:01:58
Speaker
The one that sounded the best, the one that's mashed potato, deep fried hot dog, just completely disintegrated. I mean, it was like Thanos didn't want it to exist. I watched it just fade away before my very eyes heartbreaking. And the one that sounded the worst, the shrimp dog turned out pretty good. Pretty good. I put less garlic in it next time, but other than that,
00:02:28
Speaker
killed it. I had
Shrimp Hot Dog Success
00:02:30
Speaker
a soft spot for that one. It seemed like of the other hot dog eaters that were in attendance. It was not a favorite, but it was a favorite of mine. Everybody. And I mean, I think part of it is it's the what is it? The Dr. Cosby said it's the the subtle racism of lowered expectations. I think we're all guilty of that when it comes to the shrimp scampi hot dog. It
00:02:58
Speaker
surprised us with how good it turned out to be. And maybe a few years down the line when people don't have, you know, prejudice against shrimp based hot dogs, we'll look back and be like, it wasn't really that good. Like Mel Brooks's movies. You know, it wasn't clever. It was just farting cowboys saying the N word. Well,
00:03:26
Speaker
One thing I will say about the shrimp dog is that almost everybody likes shrimp, but when someone does not like shrimp, they usually say it's a texture thing.
Tubed Meat Learnings
00:03:36
Speaker
And whatever texture thing the shrimp has, when you make it into a sausage, that completely disappears. It's gone. And you get a very mellow, malleable sausage. Like, I think you could have gone with many different flavor profiles with it. Yeah.
00:03:56
Speaker
Will he cleave to whatever sort of spices you want to put into it? I'll be honest. That was my first ever making of a tubed meat, the shrimp dog. And I learned a lot and I made several other tubed meats this weekend. And I think that if I, if I could turn back time, I could probably make an even better shrimp based hot dog.
00:04:26
Speaker
And I think that I probably will make another street. We've decided that there will, uh, it will now be in an annual occurrence.
Annual Hot Dog Event Plans
00:04:34
Speaker
The dog fight, the Easter weekend dog fights. So if you're interested in inventing a type of hot dog and coming to my house to grill it, uh, slide into the DMS, the DMS are open. We take all comers. No, no dogs refused.
00:04:56
Speaker
Anyways, I wanted to say that I've discovered something just, I mean literally hours too late.
Papa John's TikTok Discovery
00:05:05
Speaker
After I wore myself out drinking beer and making hot dogs all day yesterday, I got on my phone and discovered Papa John's TikTok account. Now this is not the Papa John's
00:05:24
Speaker
You were talking about Papa John Schnatter. The Papa John Schnatter on TikTok. He has three quarters of a million followers and it is the sweaty, the sweaty King himself. Papa John, he is zanned out of his mind mumbling and doing reaction videos to people trying to make pizza.
00:05:55
Speaker
And it makes me realize that we should have done a pizza week because he literally, he's bringing the heat on every single one of these videos. Just listen to this. Listen to this. This is Papa John reacts to homemade, authentic Italian pizza. The real kitchen authentic ingredients. It's a real chef. That's the real deal.
00:06:23
Speaker
That's strong. She's got it going on. Sweet. That's real Italian authentic pizza. Beautiful. That was somebody making a making a pizza in a cast iron skillet. That's good looking pie. Good looking pie. Best recipe of all time.
00:06:52
Speaker
It came out of an oven. This 12-inch pizza is less than 650 calories. Most slices have 400 calories. That's incredible. This guy's a winner. We need to hire this guy. 600 calories in one pizza, a whole pizza? That's incredible. I tell you, for a homemade pizza and a homemade oven, that's incredible. That works. He has a stud.
00:07:22
Speaker
That's a stud. Good looking by just. I mean. What's he doing all day? Because look, I'll admit, after a long day of making experimental hot dogs, I was about at that energy level.
00:07:51
Speaker
I literally fell asleep on the couch trying to play video games at the end of the day yesterday. Papa John, is he
Papa John Reality Show Idea
00:08:02
Speaker
making experimental pies all day? Is that. I don't think he is. I feel like he's sitting in like one of those like high back Ebenezer Scrooge type chairs, but he has a leather jacket on and he's just
00:08:18
Speaker
His face is just drenched in sweat or oil. It might be olive oil. And he's going, oh, it's a good looking dude. That's a real pizza. Do you say 600 calories? Good looking pie. That's it. Real ingredients.
00:08:37
Speaker
Do you think he's auditioning himself for like a pizza themed reality television show? I would love to listen. Papa John Schnatter, I've heard you're a real son of a bitch. Just I mean, aside from the the public news stories, just general like stories I've heard people say about you around the Kentucky and Southern Indiana community.
00:09:07
Speaker
All signs point to you being a real rotten bastard, but also the kind of guy who is not really concerned with whether or not someone thinks he's a real rotten bastard. And I'll say, Hey, let's get it. Let's get into bed together. Let's make a reality show where.
00:09:24
Speaker
You're just an unapologetic kind of a Simon Cowell for Zoomers. Did the company you start kick you off the board because you're a real rotten bastard? Well, you know what industry that's a positive in? It's reality television. Reality television. Rotten Basterds Welcome. Bastard Pizza. That's the name of the show. Bastard Pizza for bastard people.
00:09:51
Speaker
Oh, we do it like it's West coast choppers and it's called pizza bastards. And it's us trying to open a pizza shop with Papa John. But we can't call it Papa John because one, I think Shaq owns the name now.
00:10:09
Speaker
And also because he's not our Papa. We're his bastard children. We're Papa John's bastard. Why, why are they waiting so long to pull the trigger on changing it to Papa Shacks? I know that you've
Rebranding Papa John's
00:10:24
Speaker
built a 35 years of a brand loyalty or name recognition. Guess what? The name shack has more of both of those things already.
00:10:36
Speaker
You're, you don't have to go to nothing and build back up. You're just strapping yourself to the shack rocket. Honestly, you could call it. You could call it pizza shack, like pizza hut. And it's kind of a little play on that. You could call it shack Johns better than Papa John's at this point. The brand name has been tainted by.
00:11:03
Speaker
Shaq's nickname when he played basketball, one of his many nicknames was Shaq daddy. So I know that daddy. Yeah. Oh, what about this? What if you called it? What if you called it Shazam's? What about the godfathers? Oh, wait, the godfather. That's.
00:11:26
Speaker
That is another pizza. That's Herman Cain's pizza. Oh, call it Papa Shango's. And then you get the Godfather to be your spokesman in place of chat. You don't think that'll confuse people? They'll just call it Godfather's. Yeah. Well, that's the idea is that we're doing one of those classic asylum style movie pizzas where people are like, oh, this is the one that you wanted, right? Papa Shango's pizza.
00:11:55
Speaker
No, Crea and Mark. Oh, I thought of another parallel. One of Shaq's nicknames that he gave himself was the big Aristotle. That's kind of the big Aristotle. The big Aristotle kind of sounds like little Caesars. True. It's a way Caesar was Roman, right? Yeah, it's Roman versus Greek. Yeah. Hercules pizza.
00:12:23
Speaker
Yeah. But I got to say the Greeks, they, they can make some good pizza as well. Don't sleep on the Greek pizza. Anyway, Papa John, if you want to make a, if you want to make a reality show with us where we make fucked up pizzas and then you come in all sleepy off of pills and say those real ingredients. Well, we'll give you, we're willing to split this.
00:12:48
Speaker
25, 25, 50. You got the star power. You're the one that those bright, bright Hollywood lights are gleaming off of your oily face. Yeah. And while it sounds like we've said a lot of things, nice things about Shaq and have encouraged Shaq to just kick your name off of the company you started. Don't worry about that. We'll say bad things about Shaq when you're in our presence. That's right. Shaq's a cop. We don't like cops.
00:13:17
Speaker
I mean, at the end of the day, we like Papa's more than we like a deputy sheriff. Isn't he like one of the he's like. Steven Seagal, right? One of those celebrities who likes to. Do like plate pretend dress up police work cops and robbers. Yeah, cops and robbers with people's houses. Hmm. Do you have an idea for a podcast?
00:13:45
Speaker
I do. Uh, this one is called the test of time colon clocks ticking. And this is a clock is ticking. Yes. Like a clock apostrophe S ticking. Okay. And, uh, this is a podcast recorded in real time. Not unlike the television program, 60 minutes, there will be a ticking stopwatch the entire time.
00:14:17
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, clock's ticking. But it will also be about things that have passed the test of time. OK. So we will pick a topic, for example, perhaps pizza. And we will, you know, talk about which toppings, which styles have passed the test of time. Pepperoni, you have proven yourself.
00:14:47
Speaker
You have been the number one topping for my entire life and probably well before then. But some of these other ones, what say you about pineapple? Pineapple, that's a rough one. I feel like pineapple is the Quentin Tarantino of pizza toppings.
00:15:15
Speaker
It's done some good work. But it inspired a lot of bad work. And also it's done a lot of it sort of work on itself. It puts itself in in places it doesn't belong sometimes. Yeah, I was going to say it's most of its best work was stolen from indigenous people. OK. Pineapple.
00:15:46
Speaker
Yeah, we're going to have to give you are the goose of the week. Honk, honk. Now, what about the test of time? Books about vampires, books about vampires, Dracula, Dracula. They're still adapting it. I think that new Nicolas Cage movie that comes out next week is an adaptation of the original.
00:16:17
Speaker
I don't even know if it's really the original. I don't. I mean, it is in the sense that those characters are in the public domain. I've read. The book Dracula, and I don't remember. What's her name, that rapper being in it? Oh, yeah. She's not creation. She's the other one. Awkwafina. Was Awkwafina in the book?
00:16:46
Speaker
Um. I don't think so. I'm just hang on. I'm bringing up. I'm going on the way than the way back machine archive dot org. Looking up. Dracula. By Bram Stoker and and then I'm doing a command F for Aquafina. No, all right. It says there's no
00:17:12
Speaker
No, uh, results for the, I'm going to search Nora from Queens. The test of time clock ticking. Maybe we could have some kind of a consequence for us. I think that, uh, if we do a bad job and run out of time and have not, you know, adequately
00:17:39
Speaker
elucidated on the topic of whether X has passed the test of time, we then pass the or fail the meta test of time that the podcast is also because clock's ticking. Hmm. So it was just awkward for us. That's the consequence.
00:18:02
Speaker
I think that we might also have to set up an explosive that if we do a good job, it's going to all blow up. We have two explosives, one that it has delicious cake and another that will incinerate our bones. And it's up to us which one we get. Yeah. All of our bones are just like one bone at a time, like if I have
00:18:33
Speaker
One bad show, you know, I can live without one of my femurs. What if we had, we've got one of those gender reveal party explosives, and if we don't finish the podcast in time, then we have to become women.
AI Hype and Future Trends
00:18:51
Speaker
The ultimate humiliation.
00:18:56
Speaker
We actually, I have a grenade strapped to my penis and balls. It's said to go off in one hour. I got an idea for a podcast. What do you got? This is called What's Next After AI and Beyond. I don't know if you've been following the news lately. And by the news, I mean stupid people with a checkmark next to their name on the Internet. But.
00:19:27
Speaker
Our little pet project of goofing around with AI has become the topic du jour for the entire Western world. Everyone is convinced that they are going to replace your job with AI. And it's a constant battle of people saying, oh, it's so advanced. And then other people being like, if you let it talk, it just says,
00:19:56
Speaker
Donald Trump is still the president over and over and over. And it just feels like our little corner of the internet is getting a little too crowded. Maybe it's time to put on our binoculars and look out on that horizon. What comes, what's the next grift? If we can't do AI anymore. I say we retroactively,
00:20:26
Speaker
put forward all of this good research that we have done and possibly we're in line for some government grants and honorary degrees from institutions of higher learning. And then once we get that money, then we can figure out what the next script is because this one isn't complete yet. I think that we just have to trumpet ourselves and say that we've been doing this for longer and therefore are
00:20:56
Speaker
the Shaq daddies of AI. We are the Shaq daddies. We are the Papa, the Papa of Meritus. Yeah. The medium Aristotle's. What if we what if we combine, we take the AI and then we have it right pizza recipes and then we film ourselves making those for Papa John.
00:21:24
Speaker
Thank you, Nathan. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Yes. All of this good work. Shrimp. That's real Italian. And then we'll just shove the pizza that we made from the AI into a Manila envelope and mail it to Harvard. To Harvard. And we'll write in pepperonis on it. Can we have an honorary degree? Right on the front of the envelope.
00:21:53
Speaker
Actually, that might be a lot of pepperoni. Let's just rate Diploma, question mark. Care of Papa John. We just assume he's probably, he probably hangs out at Harvard. Yeah. He's Papa John. That's what's next for AI and beyond. And I've been thinking a lot because if I could figure it out, I feel like that'd be a good thing to know as the
00:22:22
Speaker
The wheel of schemes seems to turn faster and faster still. It was not even a full year ago that it was NFTs. And here we are, it's already become AI. And when AI busts,
00:22:44
Speaker
It could be anything. They could be maybe sponsoring a guy who went to fight as a mercenary in the Ukraine. And they have like ads on TV for just the cost of a cup of coffee. You could be sponsoring this guy, Devin. He saw some pictures of the war on Reddit and decided to quit his job as a mall security officer.
00:23:15
Speaker
Now he's doing product retention for the people of Ukraine. They're playing like some sort of heart wrenching music. There's flies landing on his unblinking face. I think I might have a tip on what the next friend is. It's gold for cash. Gold for cash. Yeah, we're going to open up a gold for cash store.
00:23:43
Speaker
Next door to the cash for gold. You bring your, your dollars in and we'll convert it to gold. So we're giving people gold. Yeah. And the idea is that we're, we're watching the exchange rate or maybe we're just arbitrarily setting it so that people can kind of gamble on it. No, we're cutting the gold with a fentanyl.
00:24:16
Speaker
how they got coolio. That would I mean, honestly, that feels like a page torn from a 2025 newspaper.
Gold for Cash Scheme
00:24:28
Speaker
Police warn of rappers dying from gold cut with fentanyl. Yeah. But I mean, we could we could be a big part of that if you wanted to. Yeah, I love it.
00:24:45
Speaker
That's what the one cash for gold place left and they can be our gold source. Yeah, we buy from them and then people come in. We sell them the gold for the cash that they they go right next door, trade it in for cash again. Just got to wait a little bit. And I mean, as far as I understand,
00:25:14
Speaker
Economics, the sky is the limit. There's nowhere to go but up. The value of the American dollar as more and more nations announce that they will not be recognizing it as a reserve currency. It could only go up. Because it's only on the wings of an eagle, higher still.
00:25:40
Speaker
Oh, there's going to be egg on your face. A Manuel McCrone. When you see how much money we've made at our gold for cash. Suck on that jijing ping, et cetera. Maybe. Oh, what if we did this? You remember when there was the thing where Trump said that he was going to fix the Iraqi DNR.
00:26:10
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I remember he was going to peg it to the same value as the American dollar. And then people were buying up like pallets of a recce DNR and having them shipped to the US because they were convinced that it was going to, it was going to be revalued at the same as one American dollar. And then they'd be trillionaires. Maybe we do that with the good old American greenback. Wait a minute.
00:26:40
Speaker
Are we still living in Trump's America? Is he, is this part of his brilliant play to bring the Iraqi DNR to a level playing field with the American dollar? Yeah. He's bringing, he's bringing them, he's, he's returned balance to the force. Yeah. As usual, we were playing checkers and he was playing three dimensional chess. I should have known.
00:27:05
Speaker
You got another idea for a podcast. I do. This one is called Mr. Critical. OK, it is a podcast about the series of children's book, Mr. Men. Oh, oh, so we're critiquing the Mr. Yeah, we're going to, you know,
00:27:27
Speaker
talk about these books in a critical way and then we'll probably learn a lesson and learn to subvert that part of our personality so that we can get along with others. But those books I was completely unaware of until I was like 10 years old and I had a new babysitter and they had all of them. And I remember seeing the books and saying, I don't know what these are, but there are many of them. So that means that there must be something
00:27:57
Speaker
to recommend them. And then reading all of this kid's little kid books in like one day while he sat there being like, do you want to do something else? Why are you reading all of my weird books that I don't like? You're like, because I'm a completist. I must. Because I must. But I got to see what these men are all about.
00:28:19
Speaker
And men is sort of, if you are familiar with the art style of these books, men might be overstating it. They're more like brightly colored blobs with smiley faces drawn on them. They are crudely drawn shapes. Like some of the most money made ever for the least amount of work or
00:28:48
Speaker
They they seem very farted out, frankly. They are handed down from the original artist to his son, who immediately took over as soon as his dad died. Good for him. Yeah, I remember they had a TV show for a while. Yeah, there there was a TV show and then many specials. I think that they are maybe bigger in the UK than they are here. Yeah, I think.
00:29:18
Speaker
Potentially produced in Canada. I will say that that the Mr. Men franchise is, is probably the closest thing in real life to the joke from the Simpsons. Where, uh, the creator of itchy and scratchy's characters were all one dimensional, stupid things like flatulent Fox and manic mail man. Also.
00:29:49
Speaker
I do remember I had a. I had a. I guess what you would call a figurine, I wouldn't say a toy. Of Mr. Hurry, was that his name? He was a purple triangle who was always Mr. Rush, Mr. Rush, of course. Purple triangle with a little tiny Stetson hat on the little yellow Stetson hat on top of his head. And I got that.
00:30:19
Speaker
from a Arby's kids meal. Oh man. I, I love the Arby's kids meal stud. Do you remember when they had like an exclusive deal with Babar? So many different fucking bad, like, yeah, the art, like McDonald's had like Barbie and Hot Wheels. And then Arby's was over there like,
00:30:48
Speaker
We have good night moon. Yeah. We don't have Barbie, but we do have Barbie. We got the little Prince. Come on into Arby's for our Kramer versus Kramer kids meal. Who will get custody of your tummy. So my dinner with Andre kids meal.
00:31:13
Speaker
It's a little tiny plush talking Wallace Sean. You pull a string on his. That would that would actually probably fetch a lot of money. People now. Yeah. Well, they'd be killing for a little talking Wallace Sean action figure. Mm hmm. Maybe that's what's next after AI. Yeah. Setting up an Etsy store where we sell Wallace Sean
00:31:41
Speaker
Talking dolls. I feel, I mean, it does feel like culture is regressing and maybe that's what we need to get out ahead of is finding the thing from the past. That's the next to come back. You know, like we got like Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are back together.
Cultural Comebacks Speculation
00:32:03
Speaker
But it's going faster and faster. So that is speeding up about 2002.
00:32:09
Speaker
Yeah, so I have I haven't checked recently, but we might be looking at either Austin Powers coming back or the there have been a lot of Austin Powers tremors of late there. There's been like he's coming out of the ground like in the air then. Yeah, he's killed Kevin Bacon, ladies and gentlemen.
00:32:42
Speaker
He came up out of the ground and ate him. He said it made him horny. Well, I was going to say the other possible thing that could come back is the original world trade center buildings. Oh, what if Austin powers flew a plane in reverse over ground zero and the towers reformed in the, in the wake of his jet wash somehow.
00:33:11
Speaker
It just, he's flying the plane. It breaks the sound barrier and the, and dust comes rushing into ground zero and forms two towers in the air. I don't know. Like I, I, I don't know if he can do it. As soon as the twin towers form in the air, lit biscuit is on top of the tower. Just immediately.
00:33:40
Speaker
playing back the reformed World Trade Center. Holy smokes. Well, I got another idea. OK. This one's called Shock Jocks for Kids. And this we would have to come up with a name for. I guess the name of the show would just be our names, but we would have to have. Names that are more indicative of a shock jock show.
00:34:09
Speaker
OK. You could be nasty Nate. Nasty Nate. And I should get some sort of animal nickname like. Yeah. Could I be the weasel? No, that's probably sure. The grub, the grub. OK. Nasty Nate in the grub. OK, fair enough. And you're like you got to talk in a funny voice like you're a little
00:34:38
Speaker
Like you're a little beetle larva coming out of the ground. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, if you're just doing this, it's this nasty date in the grub. And we're talking about do teachers fart, you know, we're not going to talk about the, you know, kind of stuff that they talk about on a real shock jock show.
00:35:05
Speaker
We're talking about stuff that's just scandalous for children. Okay. And people are calling in. They're like, Oh yeah. My teacher farted and the whole class left. And then they call her Mrs. Astor. Hey, that's great. What do you think? Oh, gross man. The grub.
00:35:36
Speaker
He's a grody little fuck. That's shock jocks for kids. What's some other, what's some other topics that could be scandalous for children, but not really for adults. What do kids do instead of sex? Collect things. Oh yeah. Oh, the grub is great for that. The grub has his own corner where he talks about like gross stuff.
00:36:26
Speaker
in one section of the tray and then eat it. So it'd be like milk and juice and tater tots and pizza and lima beans, just mash it all together into a paste and then eat it. Now, when you say make, I was a kid who would eat that. I would do that. Put the beans and pizza in the corn on top there. Yes, but I did it for,
00:36:29
Speaker
kids like that, yeah,
00:36:55
Speaker
cash considerations. Oh, we never, oh, we never had any cash changing hands. This was more of a, it was like a chant that was almost revelatory, but there was a slight stink to that chant where it's like, you can be our gladiatorial hero. Yeah.
00:37:19
Speaker
I would say if you do not agree to this, the thumb will go down and you will become a sacrificial animal. So you can eat this and we will cheer for you or you can eat this once you're crying. What's it going to be? OK, so.
00:37:44
Speaker
I think that you had this idea and your idea was wouldn't it be funny if we made this guy do this where I had the idea of I'm just going to do this and people watched it and liked it and wanted to see it again. And then I was like, well, the pump has been primed and now one dollar will will get me to do this. I was also a fan of refried beans.
00:38:12
Speaker
And, uh, I would call them baby poop as I ate them because I knew it would gross other people out. I love my baby poop, eat my baby poop. And then I would get more beans. No, no, I want to be clear that for the most part, it was kids like you that rose to the challenge when people started chanting happy meal.
00:38:39
Speaker
There were, there were willing participants who were willing to, you know, risk their flesh and blood for the entertainment of others. But it was just that, you know, that danger, the fickleness of a mob. You could tell that if no one came forward willingly to participate in a happy meal.
00:39:05
Speaker
We would choose someone, someone would have to be our Spartacus one way or another. And by being at the center of the mob and the loudest voice within it, you were able to avoid every eating a happy. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I was, I was handing out the torches and pitchforks. All right. Let's go to the pod drone.
AI-Generated Podcast Ideas
00:39:32
Speaker
Folks. The pod drone 4,500 is an artificial intelligence.
00:39:35
Speaker
We trained it by giving it the top thousand or so podcast titles. And then it analyzed that information and gave us a list of podcasts that it thinks could be hits like Dr. Demand. And I would imagine this is like Dr. Demento, except he's more insistent about how wacky.
00:40:03
Speaker
He wants everyone to get. Could also be one of the Mr. Men characters who went on to get his doctorate. Doctor demand. Yeah. That's funny. They're all just Mr. All their wives have. That's the thing. People don't realize about the Mr. Men books. All their wives work at the hospital. They're all doctors. OK, Mr. Men are all I was wondering because all the female characters that got their own books are all little miss. Those are their daughters.
00:40:30
Speaker
And they've all been sent to expensive private schools for girls. The Mrs. Women, they're all bringing home the bacon. Yeah. That's how I understand it. All the Mr. Men are stay-at-home dads. Dr. Demand. Dr. Demand. It's time for more demands with Dr. Demand.
00:40:58
Speaker
I've placed an explosive device somewhere in the city. And if I don't get what I want, I'm going to blow up Batman. Whee! I got the little party thing. Slide whistle.
00:41:23
Speaker
I am Dr. Demand. If we do Dr. Demand, and it is somewhat like a Dr. Demento show, what do you think? Dr. Demento specialized in silly parody songs. Dr. Demand would probably specialize in songs in which someone is demanding something, yes? Mm-hmm.
00:41:48
Speaker
I think that a lot of Ramon songs could be Dr. Demand songs, just Gimme songs. Yeah. You got the, the Smiths. Please, please, please let me get what I want. They got the, uh, the misfits. They just want your skulls. Rolling stones. They want some shelter. Uh-huh. Was it warrant? They want to do to pour some sugar on them.
00:42:17
Speaker
Was that poison? Death leopard, I thought. Oh, that is death leopard. I'm sorry. Warrant. That's cherry pie. Cherry pie. Is that what they wanted? Or they just I think that they wanted. Shall I compare thee to a cherry pie?
00:42:40
Speaker
I wonder if you can, uh, take the lyrics to warrants cherry pie and, uh, lay them out in a Shakespearean song. Are they, are they in a sonnet form? Dr. Demand. I like Dr. Demand. It'd just be like us doing the Dr. Demento show, but also making threats that affect the city and some sort of a Batman villain way. That's pretty fun. We can do that. Do you, what do you, do you got one?
00:43:10
Speaker
Well, this this is another radio show style one. It's called Covertown. And I think that this would be a podcast where we talk about specifically cover songs and whether they are successful or unsuccessful. Because sometimes somebody completely snakes a song. From the original artist, but other times you just
00:43:38
Speaker
feel bad after listening to it. It is cover town. Cover town. Yes. Cover town. Which there's a coworker that we well, I guess you don't ever work with him, but there's one person that I work with who. Traffics and almost exclusively the metal cover doesn't seem like he enjoys a whole lot of metal originals.
00:44:07
Speaker
Yes, every song that has had a, uh, metal cover on his. Yeah. Yeah. I know that guy. He's, he listens to a metal cover of bad company by bad company, which that takes all the novelty out of listening to bad company. The whole point of listening to bad company is so that when somebody says, Hey, what is that? You go, Oh, this.
00:44:37
Speaker
This is the song bad company by the band bad company off the record. Bad company. What are you going to say? Oh, this, this is the song bad company by the band five finger death punch or some such bullshit off of the album.
00:45:00
Speaker
I don't even, I don't even know. I don't even know if it was on an album. It might be a rarity or a B side. It could have been, it could have been something that they just did for. Maybe it's from the five finger death punch Christmas album, just for the fan club members. Cover town. Well, I do love a good cover and I could talk at length about that. I got another one from the patron. This is called too gross and too close to fucking crazy.
00:45:34
Speaker
And I guess that this would be a thing where we're discussing things that too gross and too close to fucking crazy. I guess this would be maybe like a news, like a recap of stuff that happened in the news could also just be us. We tied this in with the shock jock for kids.
00:45:58
Speaker
Maybe we're just coming up with theoretical stuff that is too gross or too close to fucking crazy. I don't know. I perhaps it's just my one track mind going off, but I feel like this would also be helped by us getting our friend Papa John on get Papa John in here.
00:46:18
Speaker
We come up with things and then we pitch them to Papa John Schnatter and he decides whether or not it's too gross or too close to fucking crazy. Cause those are the two things. That's where he draws the line. It has to either be too gross or too close to fucking crazy. Anything else is fair game in Papa John's opinion. He'll try anything once unless it's too gross or too close to fucking crazy.
00:46:46
Speaker
Papa John. Mm hmm. We want to cut up Slimer from the Ghostbusters and put him on a pizza. He's like, that's real Italian. Oh, OK. Whoa. No, John rains. Oh, no. Oh, come on. That's too close to fucking crazy.
00:47:09
Speaker
Papa John, Papa John, we have put an exploding pizza somewhere in the city and unless our demands are met, it's going to explode. This is too close to fucking crazy. Wearing his leather jacket indoors. Like a maniac. He's already naturally sweaty.
00:47:31
Speaker
And this weather he's going to wear his leather jacket inside and exacerbate the sweat problem. In one of those high back chairs that's designed, you're supposed to sit there in front of a fireplace. He's got his leather biker jacket on. Yeah, well, he heard the term smoking jacket and he was like, I smoke in this jacket.
00:47:54
Speaker
I'm literally there's more of a steaming jacket. I've usually got a few cigars going, you know, I'll just set them down in that room over there and all the puff when I go past. He's got cigarettes in his ears. He just holds his nose shut and in the smoke. Oh, I thought you were going to say he was doing a crudely made gravity bong.
00:48:21
Speaker
No, it's just got a different implement for smoking in every room of the house. I was just picturing him like somehow smoking by putting the cigarettes in his ears and then holding his nose shut and sucking the smoke directly into his brain. Do you have one more? Oh, from the podron. I do. This one is called when thoughts kill. When thoughts kill. And
00:48:53
Speaker
I think that this is trying to find out what the killing thought is, which so that it will be a good podcast, we will have to give voice to our thoughts. And there is a very real risk that you would take in agreeing to do this podcast. Because if one of us stumbles upon the killing thought and speaks it aloud, the other likely will die.
00:49:19
Speaker
Okay. So this could just be an hour of us trying out different thoughts, trying to come up with thoughts that clearly have not ever been thought before. And I think that we also put out the call and try to get people to call the hotline so that they can possibly kill both of us. That's fair enough. Yeah. Maybe we, maybe we put Papa John on this one too. If we're going down, we're taking him with us. Yeah.
00:49:48
Speaker
That's real. We do need a fail safe so that if we, if die before the podcast ends, that it gets just sent directly to Papa John compressed and sent to the Papa. Yeah. It's, it's like the thing where the guys who have the recipe for Coke, aren't allowed to fly on an airplane together.
00:50:14
Speaker
But in the event that we both die at the same time from a killing thought, then we have all of our passwords and logins are sent to Papa John Schnatter and he takes over the podcast. That would be a funny thing. Like I've never had a will, but do you think I could go get a will and say that we hereby leave our unpopular podcast to Papa John, the pizza man. Enjoy that paperwork, Papa.
00:50:44
Speaker
Alright, here's what we got this this week. We got the test of time clocks ticking What's next after AI and beyond? Mr. Critical shock jocks for kids Dr. Demand cover town too gross and too close to fucking crazy and when thoughts kill Well, I do think three of these ideas are kind of along the same lines. Maybe we can
00:51:13
Speaker
Do a radio show one. Okay. We got Dr. demand cover town and the shock jocks for kids. Okay. So yeah, shock jocks for kids, Dr. demand and cover town. And we need a name for that. Oh, wait, it's just called nasty Nate and the grub.
00:51:37
Speaker
Okay. Fair enough. All right. If you want to listen to the nasty date, the grub head over to patreon.com slash we don't have a podcast yet or www.white house.boats sign up to support the patreon. You'll get access to all of the past podcasts as well as a new one in your podcast listening device every week.
00:52:03
Speaker
Thanks for listening. If you if you want to go give us a review on iTunes or Spotify or whatever. And until then, we'll see you next time. I'm Nathan B. Woodard. And I'm Andrew James Estes. Good night.
00:52:30
Speaker
You stood and you watched as My baby that's how You could have done something But you didn't try You didn't do nothing You never walked by